I got the final confirmation today on a part-time job I had applied for. I will now be working nights and weekends after my other job. We desperately need more money right now, so it is a huge blessing. My wife and I are still trying to catch up from having a baby and her not working for a year. I am excited about this, but also a little nervous. I have a tendency towards overworking/workaholic/whatever you want to call it. I don’t really want to have two jobs consume my life. But I also believe I wouldn’t have it if not by the grace of God. Doors opened up for this and people that had no motive to help me did so, so I am thankful for that.
My other fear is that I will write even less working two jobs, which I believe is a valid one. It is a retail job, so it isn’t as fast paced as my current job. But I don’t know how much opportunity I will have to jot things down in my pocket notebook. I will just have to see. There will still be days off and windows in between the two jobs, so I can try to use those times more wisely as well. And the simple truth is also that with abundant time I have right now, I have not really been writing. So less time won’t change my lack of motivation. Perhaps it will make me appreciate it more.
I’m still at the point of having tons of ideas but a lack of motivation. I did get my first official rejection the other day, for a poem I submitted to Asimov’s. In retrospect it was only barely sci-fi and not really about anything significant. So I wasn’t too surprised to be rejected. It actually is kind of nice to be officially denied, even if the response looked like a form letter. I have such a strong urge to write that wars against my lack of motivation. I also take great enjoyment in it, which is another reason I find it odd I put it off so much.
I suppose I’m just a little crazy, like most people. Anyway, I shall keep writing and keep working. I will be able to rest a little easier with more money, no more paycheck to paycheck living. Being able to work on paying off debts and saving money is something I’m looking forward to. That’s all the news I have for now. Got a couple poems I’ve been working on that I will try to post later today.