Intermission

When Is a Post Not a Post?

 

When it’s a status update! Ha-yuk, ha-yuk.

But seriously, just an update. It is 1:30am right now and I get up at 5, so bare with me. Probably no posts this weekend or anything else tonight, worn down from work. I’ll have put in almost 70 hours in five days by the end of the day tomorrow. So, ready for a break.

It is the birthday of the love of my life this week, my beautiful wife. Going to enjoy having Saturday off and spend it with her, got a lot planned so heres to it all going well.

Beyond that I do have more poems, though a lot of them are depressing/a bit angry. Been a little frustrated with life at times lately if anyone has got the hint. But though it is yet unposted, things have been changing towards the more positive.

I’m also pondering writing instead of reading on my breaks/lunches at work, or maybe a mix. I feel like I could use that time for short stories, though the breakroom is full of distractions. Still tossing the idea around, I want to produce more writing than I am right now. Need to find some way to do that even with these fourteen-fifteen hour workdays.

So anyway, if you don’t see my random musing/ramblings just picture me relaxing somewhere with my wife and you all enjoy your weekend.

Advertisements

The Heat

It’s Back!

No, I’m not talking about Miami. The heat I speak of is the looming summer. This week we have 95-97 degree(Fahrenheit) weather predicted for the entire stretch. It will be just a matter of time until we hit triple digits again.

Now that it is here, a typical Oklahoma summer likes to take until late September to cool off. Unfortunately with all the rain we have had lately, it is shaping up to be a hot and sticky one as well.

This means that the non-climate controlled warehouse I work in will become a sauna as the season wears on.

That isn’t really a problem for me. This is my fifth year running now in these kinds of conditions and I actually prefer the heat. I’m useless in the cold, but the heat I can work with. Although I would rather enjoy the heat in shorts than in my jeans and polo. But, you take what you can get.

So no, the issue isn’t me. The problem is the majority of people I work with. Once it gets too hot the mood and morale tends to plummet. Most people just don’t like the heat.

Tempers will flare, injuries will increase, and someone will inevitably pass out from heat exhaustion. People will continue downing their soda and energy drinks during 110 degree weather, though I can’t figure out why.

These things conspire to make the 2-3 month summer tough at my job.

The only saving grace right now is our hours have been steady at 8-9 a day. Not the 11-12 we’ve experienced in the past at this time.

Altogether, its a bit depressing and hard to stay positive. I thoroughly enjoy the summer and the vibrant green the changing seasons bring, but not all share my love.

Still, it is my job and I will do my best to make it better however I can.

Funnily enough, I wrote this on my free time at work only to come home to find a similar situation at home. It was over 80 degrees in my apartment. The AC that had been repaired just the week before is now not working properly again. Its pretty stuffy and unbearable here at the moment. So hopefully they will have that fixed soon. I have a window AC unit I will also setup if necessary. I hope it doesn’t come to that, just because of the electricity costs. But I digress. Here are my musings for the day, a little late but I’m gonna tag it postaday anyway. The postaday committee can review my case later.

80 Hours

80 hours. That is how many hours I worked between Monday and Saturday of this last week at my two jobs combined. Bit crazy and a bit exhausting, but not too bad. I really am enjoying working in a retail environment. I had a lot of different expectations coming into it. Fear about bad customers, being made into a salesman, and other such issues. I’ve gotten nothing but good experiences to relate however. Customers are generally friendly or just focused, and I like helping people find what they need.

It is kind of like playing trivia with strangers. Every right answer tickles that part of my nerd brain that likes to prove it knows things. Then I also do stuff like ‘zoning’, which is getting all product at the front and making sure it looks right. My touch of OCD makes that something I like doing as well. Then there are miscellaneous tasks to perform, but nothing really strenuous. All in all I find retail pretty easy and a definitely more relaxed setting from my job in a warehouse. There is also lots of interesting people to meet, pieces of their lives they relate in small conversations. I’ve always been an observer of people, so I must confess I do a lot of this as I work. Not staring or being rude, I just kind of try to figure people out.

As far as writing goes in my life, it has mostly been stalled still. I’ve written five or six poems I need to run through final drafts and get up on here, but nothing story wise. I have had some spare moments to myself in which to write, but I have been idling that time away with games or distractions. So, nothing new there for me. The only thing holding me back is of course, me. There is really not much more to say on that. I’m going to try (again) to get some of my poems up, but Sunday is a busy day for me. Gotta get ready for the week and try to grab quality time with the family. Hoping you all have a good Sunday and week.

So…

I haven’t been writing much lately, absorbed in work and then vegging out with games after work. I’ve had lots of inspiration and ideas, just a serious lack of motivation. It seems like such a tall task at times, just to sit down and write. I find myself wondering why I want to. My goal of writing books seems pretty far-fetched when I can’t even write a short story.

That is of course, all self defeating nonsense and pity. For my situation and my troubles. We’ve all got issues, we’ve all got troubles, and situations abound. I need to just get over it. Time is the only thing I truly have to fight for, it comes in bursts. Much of it is spent taking care of my daughter and spending time with my wife after work. I find it hard to see the line between what I should do and I can do. I can care for my wife and child 100% of the way, but it leaves nothing for myself.

Such a thought makes me feel guilty, even though my rational brain says it shouldn’t. My priorities should be God, myself, my wife, my daughter, and so on. Writing is hard to pin in there. I want to make it a priority, but its a step I kind of tripped on before. I came home for a couple months straight and posted once a day, and my relationship suffered some for it. My wife is understandably jealous of something that absorbs me completely and takes her out of my arms, however briefly.

But its hard to convey sometimes what it means to me. It isn’t that I feel I have a knack for writing and want to see what I can do. I have a desire to write that doesn’t go away. My wife is still trying to find what she really wants to do in life, so maybe that is why it is hard for her to understand. It isn’t a hobby, it isn’t a passing fad, its something I need to fully embrace and come to terms with.

Whether I publish ten books or none, I will forever be a writer. Even if my short stories are all full of bad dialogue and barely long enough to have the name, I am still a writer. Unpublished, unknown, my scribbles scattered on digital walls, I am a writer. This is what this period of idleness and introspection has taught me. As with most things I have learned over the years, I realize it may not be an unshakeable truth. We are creatures of change, and I am not the one to say what God has in store for me.

I think that is all I can say for now, I hope you enjoyed my rambling. I plan to start updating again, and committing myself to harder work. Sink or swim, as they say.

Dissapointing

So I’m a pretty curious guy with too much time on his hands. All the likes I get I visit the persons page and check things out. Sometimes I find things I like, sometimes I don’t. I can usually tell if the person was just liking me for a re-like/re-follow or if they were generally interested. On my last couple of posts I noticed something even more annoying. Pyramid scheme-ish spam likes. Its a business called the Empower Network. They sell blogs to people so they can sell blogs to people who can sell blogs to people. Everyone up top is making bank, and the majority are barely paying the monthly fee. For details on this business check here, he sums it up pretty well. Two of the likes I got are most likely the same person, with another two possibly being a duplicate as well. It’s disappoints me to know I’m entertaining robotic pyramid scheme spam with my blog. Is there some kind of way to block certain users? I’d rather not have likes based on commissions for someone else.

Edit: So now several of the pyramid scheme guys have liked this post too. The post describing their operation as a scam. I wonder if anything I tag Empower Network would get likes from them. Dave Hunter, thomasmaxwell12, Jordon Latour, and Dominik Mikula, all part of that nonsense. If you’re going to be a fake blogger  selling fake things, be good at it. Don’t just click randomly like these guys.

On Writing

Image found at www.npr.org.

Image found at http://www.npr.org.

On Writing

I just finished Stephen King’s book On Writing and I’m currently kicking myself for not reading it sooner. I even had it sitting on my bookshelf for probably close to a year now, along with other books on writing.  On top of all that I only read the book because I ran out of things on my kindle and spotted it on my bookshelf.

But wow, just wow. The blunt way he puts things and cuts right to the chase is just amazing. Read it over the course of a few days this week at work and home and it had me chomping at the bit. Now that I’ve read it all I want to digest it, to really let it sink in. It also made me aware of something. I’ve been treating writing like a hobby, not as a career or what I truly wanted to do.

Sure I’d come home and bang out a quick post, a poem or a bit of fiction, but it was really just a half effort. If I want to really pursue it, I believe I need to make it among my top priorities. I also need to work on stories over a thousand words and not just take the easy route. The book has been quite an eye opener to me. My pursuit of writing needs to be a 100% effort, not 25%.

I know some of this drive is just that freshly-completed-book rush. But  I don’t want it to fade, I want to keep my conviction. Part of my problem as to where I’m at now is a lack of time and privacy in writing. Hard to focus, hard to stay uninterrupted. But I do have some time in the morning, some time after work, and occasionally other bits of time.

It will be in these times I will have to really focus and get into the habit of just writing. Not checking my e-mail, playing LoL, or whatever else. I have co commit to this. I also need to watch myself, I find myself trying to build a blog at times rather than be a writer. I realize the two aren’t mutually exclusive, but I don’t want to lose my way.

So, that has been my epiphany this week. Sorry if it seemed disjointed and rambling. I wrote it to understand it myself as much as to relate it to all of you.

On The Precipice

Image found at www.zoic.com.

Image found at http://www.zoic.com.

On The Precipice

I have climbed as far as I can go, my flesh bruised and weary.

I stand now at the edge, looking out at the desolate land below.

Rising above me is a glorious kingdom, a verdant paradise.

It lies just beyond my reach, a risky leap away.

I can give it all and jump, or I can try to descend below.

Desolation or paradise, the leap or the fall.

by Nicholas Byrley

I feel like I’m always apologizing lately for not posting, seems a bad habit to make. Between work, daycare issues, rides, and more I’ve been pretty much passing out everyday. So today I have good news, we got another car yesterday after a full day of searching. We also got our daughter into a good daycare that lacks the issues of the previous one. I feel very blessed and thankful today, the Lord has delivered us. Looking forward to having more time to spend not rushing and to write. The poem today is about what we all go through at some time or another. Choosing to commit yourself to God in heaven or fight it out in the world below. Hope you all enjoyed it, feel free to comment.