Enough

Enough

I have grown tired of simply maintaining.

This futile act of moving without gaining.

I try to tell myself this is just the status quo.

That all of us have to keep going to and fro.

In these acts we must continue to persist.

Not a one of us has the strength to resist.

So I must find a way to turn despair into power.

To change repetitious fate before my final hour.

by Nicholas Byrley

Another random day, another poem. As always, feel free to leave feedback and have a good day. Hope you all enjoyed the rhyming this time.

Wanderer

Image found at leventep.deviantart.com.

Image found at leventep.deviantart.com.

Wanderer

I dreamt in words once, it was a waking dream.

That night has long since fled, chased away by star and time.

Now I find myself dreamless and wordless, lost and mute.

I am a stowaway in my body, my mind a shiftless transient.

Still I am drawn on to journey’s end, to the next beginning.

by Nicholas Byrley

Maybe I’ll figure it out some day.

Been working my usual hours but now starting a week of vacation from my primary job, just going to be working my part time jobs this week. Gonna spend the days with my family as well as leisurely periods of writing, gaming, and bowling. Just started my bowling league again so I have to get back in good form. Hope you all have a good week.

Intermission = Sabatical

Image found at www.cleanbreak.ca.

Image found at http://www.cleanbreak.ca.

Or Something Like That..

My brief intermission turned into an extended absence. Turns out managing work, family, and more work is harder than it looks. It’s almost three months since I posted last. I sadly have little to show for it, mostly just scribbles in my notebooks. Still, there are some poems I can tidy up and post, maybe a little flash fiction. But not too much overall. Been working a lot obviously, actually working three jobs at the moment. I figured two wasn’t too bad, so why not three. It’ll also get me to where I want to go faster, so that’s a bonus. Six days a week, 85 hours on average, and one day off to keep my sanity. I kinda want to see how far I can go.

Its kind of like juggling, only with hours instead of balls. Just a matter of keeping them all going up and around properly. Some hours to sleep, a couple to eat, lots to work, and a few here and there to unwind and spend with family. Writing has been losing out to time with the wife and gaming. The release of Rome 2: Total War hasn’t helped that ratio. Though now that its out and I had my fix, I figured I should make an update. Maybe post a few things.

In the meanwhile, I’ll go on living the dream. Its a little exhausting, a little thrilling. Just to keep it all up. Really not as hard as I thought it would be. And I figure if I can do this now, then later when I quit the extra jobs I have no reason not to dedicate time to writing. Definitely learning how to better manage my time and energy. Not sure if anyone still reads my posts, but feel free to comment if you do. Its always appreciated.

Regret

                                   Regret
I mourn myself, the man that never was.
Wasted breath and empty thoughts, potential always. squandered.
All my attempts have come up wanting, dreams passed to dust.
I am the fading echo, the aftershock of possibility.
For me purpose has fled, lost to an illspent past and uncaring world.
                           by Nicholas Byrley


Another evening with my phone, another poetic musing. I don’t think regret is all bad. Within it there is a catalyst for change, you just can’t let it consume you.

The Heat

It’s Back!

No, I’m not talking about Miami. The heat I speak of is the looming summer. This week we have 95-97 degree(Fahrenheit) weather predicted for the entire stretch. It will be just a matter of time until we hit triple digits again.

Now that it is here, a typical Oklahoma summer likes to take until late September to cool off. Unfortunately with all the rain we have had lately, it is shaping up to be a hot and sticky one as well.

This means that the non-climate controlled warehouse I work in will become a sauna as the season wears on.

That isn’t really a problem for me. This is my fifth year running now in these kinds of conditions and I actually prefer the heat. I’m useless in the cold, but the heat I can work with. Although I would rather enjoy the heat in shorts than in my jeans and polo. But, you take what you can get.

So no, the issue isn’t me. The problem is the majority of people I work with. Once it gets too hot the mood and morale tends to plummet. Most people just don’t like the heat.

Tempers will flare, injuries will increase, and someone will inevitably pass out from heat exhaustion. People will continue downing their soda and energy drinks during 110 degree weather, though I can’t figure out why.

These things conspire to make the 2-3 month summer tough at my job.

The only saving grace right now is our hours have been steady at 8-9 a day. Not the 11-12 we’ve experienced in the past at this time.

Altogether, its a bit depressing and hard to stay positive. I thoroughly enjoy the summer and the vibrant green the changing seasons bring, but not all share my love.

Still, it is my job and I will do my best to make it better however I can.

Funnily enough, I wrote this on my free time at work only to come home to find a similar situation at home. It was over 80 degrees in my apartment. The AC that had been repaired just the week before is now not working properly again. Its pretty stuffy and unbearable here at the moment. So hopefully they will have that fixed soon. I have a window AC unit I will also setup if necessary. I hope it doesn’t come to that, just because of the electricity costs. But I digress. Here are my musings for the day, a little late but I’m gonna tag it postaday anyway. The postaday committee can review my case later.

Cold

                                   Cold
      Every decision weighed, emotions controlled.
     Empathy’s warmth denied, self interests served.
    Each move part of a strategy, people only puzzles.
         Unfeeling and uncaring, logics firm rule.
                            by Nicholas Byrley

Written on my lunch break at my second job, from my phone again. Sometimes I feel this way, and I have to double check and make sure I’m not a robot. Anyone else like this?

Truth

Truth

Once I knew reality, but no longer.

It has passed from my grasp, blown away.

I exist within a mirage, the sunset awaits.

What comes when darkness falls, I wonder.

by Nicholas Byrley

Off work today(at least from my day job) and tomorrow to take care of my sick daughter. Variant of RSV and Conjunctivitis in both eyes. Poor thing. Feel free to comment, this one kind of took an odd path.